“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are on every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15: 1-4

     Let’s be honest. One of the most difficult issues in life is how to communicate truthfully with people without being brutal. The human tendency seems to focus on one extreme or another. Many choose to keep from communicating fully and effectively due to their concern that their words will cause discomfort in a relationship. Although this strategy will keep relationships calm, these same relationships will be shallow for no interpersonal depth can ever be reached without self-disclosure.

     At the opposite end of the spectrum are those who place such importance on being understood that they are willing to sacrifice any sense of compassion in their address of others. These people would say that they are “speaking the truth in love,” yet they emphasize speaking at the expense of love. Although the transparency of this strategy would seem to build stronger relationships (“At least people know where I stand”), it normally stunts them as those who are assaulted grow quiet and give up emotionally on such a relationship.

     There is a balanced approach to our words. This is why the theme of Proverbs 15.1-4 is so important. With these four principles to guide us, we can speak our true thoughts and feelings while still respecting the thoughts and feelings of those we communicate with. Our words are powerful. So put God’s four principles in practice: remember who is listening—God (vs. 3); engage your mind before engaging your mouth (vs. 2); choose to be constructive with your words (vs. 4); and remember, how we say something is as important as what we say (vs. 1). “Therefore encourage one another with these words” (1 Thessalonians 4.18).

     See you Sunday,

  Pastor Dave

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